im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize