my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
