So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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