What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
