I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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