You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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