I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
