when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
