How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
