"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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