Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
