I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
