Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
