Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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