how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
