Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your cock deserves a montage
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
