My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
