I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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