maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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