3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
