can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
