I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
