he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
