every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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