Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
