are you so shy because you have an std?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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