forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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