Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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