i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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