last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
