And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
