Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
