can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
