ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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