Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
