I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
