yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
