i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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