To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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