She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
