Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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