hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think my vagina is haunted
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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