It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
