Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
