Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
