I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize