She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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