the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.