"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
