I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize