pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
