Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
