He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
