...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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