Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
