i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
