I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
