Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He felt like a one man threesome
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
