The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
