I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
