With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
