I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
