Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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