I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize