im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
