some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
