me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
