I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize