i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
