I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
