Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
