You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
