I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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